Domestic violence and moral abuse, hurting and being hurt, can happen in any family in these times. When this happens, people blame one or the other for how bad or awful it is, and one side is seen as the perpetrator and the other as the victim. It is especially easy for men to be seen as the perpetrators. However, the reality is that it is not that easy. Perpetration or victimization is not determined by gender.
Although we are often told that there is no cure for domestic violence, that there is no choice but to run away, that there is no choice but to divorce, or that it is dangerous not to cut off contact with the abuser, such an excessively defensive attitude can make the problem worse and deprive the victim of safety and security. In addition, there is no support for the alleged perpetrator to de-violence, which may actually cause the perpetrator to become even more emotional and behave dangerously.
To prevent this from happening, the alleged perpetrators need appropriate de-violence support, and the alleged victims need a good amount of recovery care. Separation alone is not enough to solve the problem essentially, and families who remain hurt will continue to have problems on a chain from one to the next. There are no institutions in Japan that support both the perpetrators and the victims, with the exception of JAFAREC.
There are some places in Japan that offer educational programs for perpetrators, but they are not effective domestic violence support because it is impossible to participate in these programs in rural areas or the quality of the facilitators is poor.
That’s why JAFAREC is holding an “overnight 30-hour workshop” at the end of this month for those who live in rural areas outside of Kyoto, Osaka, and Tokyo, who have no counsel, no de-violence support, no recovery and restoration programs, and who are not taken seriously by the police, the government, the judiciary, or victim support, or who have suffered a secondary harm.
In the two days from October 31 to November 1, we will be doing a workshop of six months’ worth. For those who are not connected to a decent support, and those who want to learn about Men’s counseling and support, please take this opportunity to resolve issues and build a network of fellow members who support each other from afar.
The fee for this event is 10,000 yen, which includes accommodation and food. The place is Ten-Sho-An at Nojo Nanjo 14, Yagi-cho, Nantan City, Kyoto Prefecture. We look forward to seeing you there.
Originally posted on October 8, 2020
English text translated with DeepL (Japanese to English) and checked by Mina.