People today are given goals and objectives in their upbringing, and they are evaluated and approved when they reach their goals. Of course, the reaching is only a step in the process, where a new goal is presented to us. The effort to achieve the goals is endless. And if you fail to make the effort, you will fall off, or be criticized for not achieving the goal… You are given a fear, and to escape the fear, you are required to put in an eternity of effort.
The values that most people would unconditionally accept, that hard work is better than success, that growth is good, that laziness will destroy you… Underneath it all, anxiety and fear will always rule the inner core of your heart.
Where do these values come from? How long has this been going on? Fortunately, I couldn’t do anything well even if I tried, and I was constantly blamed for not trying hard enough… in my schooling. However, my parents never told me that, nor did they ever blame me for not being able to do well even though I tried, nor did they ever judge me for not being good enough. I was able to realize early on that there were no problems at home, but there were problems at school… so there were problems at school… Therefore, I was already able to give up putting in the effort by the age of 10.
Nevertheless, the world’s values make it difficult to adjust in a reasonable way if you don’t try, and as a social misfit, I suffered from an anxiety disorder and relied on alcohol to escape the fear of panic attacks. By the time I was past puberty, I wouldn’t be lying if I said I was a total alcoholic.
Before my thirties, I had a liver problem, which gave me an opportunity to understand the meaning of my own life, and I feel like I was able to free myself from most of my fears and anxieties and live my life just as I am, just as I want to. I am now… not controlled by anxiety and fear.
The motivation that drives you is pleasure, joy, and gratitude. And because it originates from a sense of the meaning of life, it is also connected to the lives and pleasures of others, and it cannot be my ego alone. How peaceful….This is probably what people call “love” or “compassion” in the world. It really enriches me a lot.
From my point of view, many people are dominated by anxiety and fear, and to escape from it, they take it for granted to be superior, dominant, subordinate, possessed or owned. They don’t think by themselves and their dialogue with others is poverty itself. This means that no matter how much wealth, status, or fame you have, you cannot be satisfied with who you are now, nor can you share the joy of your life, and you will have to live in eternal loneliness.
The cause of domestic violence and moral abuse is not unrelated to the fact that people cling to their roles and suppress their own minds and the minds of others in order to escape from their fears. And it’s the same thing now that most people walk around with masks…they are accepting the rules of anxiety. The root of the problem is the same. To say that people who walk around with masks will never be truly happy would probably offend many people, but I can’t help but think that way.
So, it’s not a time to wear a mask. Look at all sorts of internet information, not just TV and newspapers. You will find out that the corona mess is a delusional pandemic, that PCR is being used to cause anxiety and paranoia…that someone is intending to do this…or something.
Well, well… today is our monthly Gourmet Night… We have a good laugh and a good chat in the Three C’s… We have been doing this for a long time, but it doesn’t cause any problems. No wonder, no one in my place is concerned about COVID anxiety and paranoia, because they are the ones who realize how ridiculous it is.
The Gourmet Night of the past… I don’t know what’s going to happen tonight… haha.
Originally posted on October 16, 2020
English text translated with DeepL (Japanese to English) and checked by Mina.